


Baby You Can Drive My Car

by yokainomiko



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Blame 7Man Zippo, I Don't Even Know, I can't even, Other, The characters make sense when you actually read it, This is crack to the nth degree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 03:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yokainomiko/pseuds/yokainomiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hibari breaks up with his girlfriend</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby You Can Drive My Car

**Author's Note:**

> Blame 7Man Zippo and my friends.

Title: Baby You Can Drive My Car  
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (KHR)  
Pairing/Character(s): Hibari, Namimori Middle School, a car  
Genre: Humor/Romance  
Rating: PG-13/T  
Word Count: 813  


\-------------------------------------  


  
Hibari walked up to Namimori Middle School, the building that he had spent most of his life in after becoming a teenager. Why would he go home when there was Namichuu? The most brilliant and comforting building ever.

It had been good to him over the years.

The roof was a great place to take naps and avoid being disturbed most of the time. The reception room was the perfect focal point of expanding his domain, and the school itself remained firmly under his control.

Yes, Namichuu had always been there for Hibari, but... he couldn’t say the same in return.

“Namimori,” he said, nodding his head in acknowledgment. Hibird started singing the school anthem. When he finished, Hibari waved Hibird off. “Come back later, I have some things to take care of first.”

Hibird happily chirped and flew away.

Hibari smiled very briefly before returning to face the building. “Namimori, we have to talk.”

The building was silent.

He started pacing slightly. “As you know over the years I have expanded my territory to the whole of Namimori and am currently working on exerting my control over the region and perhaps with time over the entirety of Japan.”

The building continued to stay silent.

“You might think this is the reason why I haven’t been spending as much time with you...” he looked at the window to the reception room. “But that’s not entirely the truth.”

This time the building almost seemed interested.

“I’ve been seeing someone else.”

Utter silence. Hibari was glad that he chose late at night on a weekend to come visit his old haunt.

“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Her name is Sylvia.”

The building almost seemed like it wished it could turn away.

“Nissan Sylvia S15.” Hibari continued. “We’ve been together for about six years now.”

The building trembled.

Hibari nodded. “I know; that’s right when I finally graduated from middle school.”

The building continued to tremble for a moment and then stopped.

He sighed. “Why do you want to hear how we got together? It’s not important.”

Silence.

“Don’t look at me like that. Fine.” Hibari pushed his hand through his hair. “The baby wanted me to go to Italy with those herbivores since they had somehow managed to graduate. Maybe if it was just the interesting herbivore I would have gone, but with all of them? No way. I told him I was loyal only to Namimori Middle School.”

The building silently waited for him to continue.

“So he attempted bribery. Somehow he knew that I had a hobby of looking at car catalogs. He took advantage of my weakness and bought me a car that he said was waiting for me in Italy with a fake driver’s license.”

Hibari groaned in frustration. “I just thought I would drive it a few times, and that would be it. But... my god...” His voice moaned reverently. “She was just so beautiful. Those smooth edges, that black shiny coat of paint, the silver rims that accentuated her in just the right way. There was no way I could leave her.”

The building almost looked like it _had_ turned away for a moment.

“So I cut a deal with the baby. I would do missions for the Vongola and stay loosely affiliated with them and in exchange he would ship Sylvia with me on any of my missions and whenever and wherever I wanted.” Hibari glared at the building. “Don’t look at me like that! It was a moment of weakness! I tried not to see her at first, but she was just so alluring. She would hold me with her leather seats and it just felt so right...”

“Instead I decided to see you less often, and hope that maybe with time you would get over me. But I knew in my heart that it would never happen. I was it for you. You would wait forever to see me wander your halls and bite obnoxious herbivores to death. So I had to end it.”

The building trembled again.

“No, I have to. It’s not fair to any of us. Sylvia isn’t running as well as she used to from the stress of the affair. And honestly, I love her more than you now. We had a great time together. Five years right? Well, eleven if you count after the affair started, but just... just remember the good times we shared.”

He pulled out a rose and settled it on the concrete steps at the entrance-way. “Good bye. You were my first love and I will forever cherish our time together.”

Hibari left. It was silent for quite some time. But eventually a soft rumbling started and progressively grew louder until Namimori Middle School collapsed into a pile of rubble.

How could she stand when her Foundation had been pulled out from under her?

**Author's Note:**

> That’s right, I made a Foundation pun. What are you going to do about it?


End file.
